How To Drink Like James Bond (A Guide For Sponsors)
Beer
Whiskey
Preferably a bourbon such as 'Old Grand Dad', 'I.W. Harper's', 'Walker's Deluxe' or 'Jack Daniel's'. You have the entire bottle brought on a tray with a bowl of ice and a tumbler and prepare the drink as follows: you half fill the glass with ice and add three fingers of whiskey. You swill it around to cool it, break it down with the ice and drink it down in two long draughts, feeling its friendly bite at the back of your throat and in your stomach. You refill the glass, this time with more ice than before and take it slower. Sometimes you dilute the drink with soda. For long car journeys and outdoor missions, you may fill your flask with three quarters bourbon and one quarter coffee. Irish whiskey is acceptable only in a gaelic coffee: hot black coffee, sugar and a large measure of whiskey are transferred to a wine glass and served with chilled double cream floated on top. You know how to prepare this expertly. Rye whiskey is acceptable if it is 'Canadian Club' and scotch will do if its 'Dimple Haig' served up with a splash of soda.
Gin
'Beefeater' or 'Gordons' only. Enjoyed with plenty of angostura bitters or with tonic and fresh lime
Vodka
Russian only. 'Stolichnaya' is fine, but ideally pre-war 'Wolfschmidt' from Riga, though you haven't run across a bottle in years. You drink it neat and ice-cold as an accompaniment to caviar and smoked salmon. It should be served in a small crystal carafe nestled in a bowl of crushed ice. When the mood takes you, you sprinkle a few grains of black pepper in the drink. The grains absorb the fusel oils and other impurities as they sink to the bottom of the glass. The Russians taught you this trick in Moscow and you just got to like the taste. In hot weather, you enjoy a vodka tonic with a dash of bitters.
Brandy
You seldom drink it other than as a medicinal drink. With soda and a couple of 'Phensic' tabs, it makes a useful hangover remedy. Mixed with ginger ale, it serves to ward off the effects of jet lag. You once had a nasty episode in a health clinic traction machine when a Portuguese count with links to the Red Lightning Tong tried to put a lengthy end to you after which a brandy on the rocks proved most restorative.
Champagne
You enjoy a variety of traditional marques: 'Cliqout', 'Dom Perignon', 'Krug','Pommery' and 'Taittinger'. You tend to go for a vintage about ten years old and scorn the usual highbrow sneer reserved for pink champagne. 'Clicquot Rosé' is a very nice choice. Should a champagne l'orange made with fresh juice appeal to you at lunch time, you are not averse to adding a little 'Benzedrine'. You always take your 'Benzedrine' in powdered form. Inhalers are strictly for sadists from the Orient.
Table Wines
Actually not really your speciality but a ten year old claret from any reliable Chateau will suit a meal of roast partridge. A well-iced pint of 'Ros d'Anjou' will complement 'Sole Veronique' and a bottle of the rawest, cheapest 'Chianti' available is just the thing with 'Spaghetti Bolognese', particularly if you need to replenish yourself before a much needed session of lovemaking.
Liquors
You'll occasionally order a glass of ten year old 'Calvados' or, following a lady's lead, a 'stinger', made with equal parts white creme de menthe and brandy, shaken with crushed ice and strained into a glass. Soft Drinks you don't do, and you scorn tea whenever it is offered, decrying it as a "flat, soft, time wasting opium of the masses."
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